Self-care habits for caregivers
how to care for yourselves when others are dependent on your care.
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Recently, due to a family member’s health situation I had to assume the role of a primary caregiver. We’ve all heard of the saying that ‘you cannot pour from an empty cup’ - but I had a chance to actually experience this in this situation. In order to give fully, I had to take care of myself first. In this post I am sharing my learnings when it comes to self-care habits, especially when you are playing the role of a caregiver.
(Note that my experience is limited to a few months of playing this role, and I understand professional caregivers may require different strategies for sustaining on a daily basis for a long term but that is not the scope of this article)
There are 5 areas of self-care that I prioritized that helped me fill my cup during this time :
1.Physical exercise - Deliberate physical movement of any type - whether it is yoga, walking, workout, dance routine etc. even if only for 20-30 minutes is key. This may seem like a lot when there are more pressing things, but carving out this time first thing in the morning will really help you physically and mentally to be ready for the day’s tasks. Movement is also key to ensure that you are not storing stress in your body - this may manifest in some other ailment later. There is no better way to manage stress than physical exercise in my experience.
2. Setting boundaries and saying ‘no’ - When your plate is more than full, you have to learn to say ‘no’ and set limits to what you sign up for. This may be easier said than done especially if you tend to be active socially. But your friends and dear ones will understand and respect you for being able to say ‘no’.
3. Asking for help - This was a tough one for me - as someone who is fairly independent and is a recovering perfectionist, asking for help and delegating/outsourcing is not easy, but it is quite essential if you are to show up fully to take care of your loved one. Whether it is running errands, dropping off kids to activities, ordering home cleaning service - learning to ask for help or outsourcing is key to saving your time and energy for things that matter the most.
4. Mindfulness - Just as your physical health, taking care of your mental health is a non-negotiable especially when you are a caregiver. There is a beautiful meditation by Sharon Salzburg in the ‘ten percent happier’ app titled ‘Caring for someone in need’. In this meditation, she states insightfully that your caregiving may be met with gratitude, anger, or indifference. To accept and be okay with any of these responses, one needs to train one’s minds. That comes from mindfulness activities - whether it is meditation, prayer, chanting etc. reserving 10-15 min a day for mindfulness will greatly help stay stable and present. This is another effective way of managing stress and plenty of scientific evidence is available online to validate that.
5. Eating well - Nourishing your body and soul with the right food is an essential part of self-care. These do not have to be fancy, Pinterest-worthy meals that require elaborate planning and cooking time. Any simple yet healthy meals and hydration at proper times is what this area of self-care is all about. This is also another place where you could refer to #3 - asking for help or outsourcing to make sure you have a balanced meal.
Are there other areas of self-care that you have found to be helpful? Would you like to dive more into any of these areas in particular ?